We’re copping a fiend crib in Uruguay ASAP.
For anyone that has ever had to deal with Time Warner Cable, you know they are just about the most evil company in the world. Like seriously, it really might go like this: liars, child rapists, scummy lawyers, NYC real estate brokers and THEN Time Warner Cable. I legitimately think there’s a black cloud over their headquarters at all times, like Mordor. Horrible prices, shitty Internet and TV cutting out whenever the weather gets bad and customer service so bad it’s hard to believe they still exist. Oh wait — they exist because most of the time people don’t have another option. That monopoly shit.
But I have to give them credit for this one. Backstory: When I lived with Fiend Ty and Fiend Doubi at the hazy 2 Dank Street, we had this Time Warner cable box and modem. That was years ago. Those fiends moved to The Lab for 2 years and never returned the boxes. Every month I got letters from Time Warner trying to get the box back and saying I owed $325. Obviously we’re all lazy fiends and never paid attention. But then over time I started thinking about what these TWC fiends were capable of. Was my credit rating somehow getting rocked? Are they going to come break my legs? Am I blacklisted from ever having Time Warner Cable again?
The boxes got returned recently and the $325 was cleared. I was free from their chains.
But then…a letter appears, and what do you know: Time Warner Cable is paying me 25 beans. I honestly didn’t even know how to react, I thought it was some kind of mix up or joke. But it’s real — these mugs just gave me $25.17. Now there’s probably some lame reason they did, maybe a return of a deposit for getting the boxes but seriously — bitch don’t kill my vibe. I feel like I’ve been granted a settlement for post traumatic stress inflicted by this shit company.
Thanks Time Warner Cable, this bud (sack) is for you. And that’s the last time I’ll ever say that.
So the big story yesterday was that Public Enemy #1, George Zimmerman, was arrested for allegedly assaulting and pulling a gun on his girlfriend who also happens to be PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD.
Whatever small fraction of doubt there was that this dude shouldn’t have been locked up, completely went out the window. I didn’t agree with the people that said he wasn’t guilty, but I understood that side of the argument from a legal perspective. Also, I mean, you never really know unless you were there. Well, fuck that. This dude is clearly a psycho that only “Stands His Ground” against unarmed teenagers and unarmed women. Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, shame on you fuckboy.
So we don’t even have to discuss that any further. It’s a done deal. For me though, I see a way bigger social issue forming here that mainstream media is overlooking. Which is:
HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS MOTHERFUCKER KEEP GETTING BITCHES?
The Zimmerman/Martin case made me lose faith in humanity, but this new Zimmerman case is making me lose faith in women.
Seriously, ladies, what the fuck is wrong with you? How do you keep fucking this dude? It’s not even just a one time thing! It’s not like you got black-out drunk and woke up and said “shit, I can’t believe I slept with George Zimmerman”. This chick is fucking pregnant with his sin child!! And you know what’s worse, she’s not half bad:
I mean she’s no dime or anything, but she’s 100% better than some of the garbage I’ve seen some of the #Fiends take home on black out nights (guilty). And she’s also way higher up on the scale than Zimmerman. This is a great look for him.
Look, I totally understand falling for the whole bad boy thing. I’ve made a killing on that over the years. I can see what’s attractive about that shit. But this is WAY beyond that. I always watch those documentaries about serial killers and crazy fucks and they always have a chick standing by their side. “Locked Up” is one of my favorite shows. No matter how fucking bat shit crazy the dude is, he always has some wife.
I mean don’t get me wrong, men aren’t much better with choosing. Like I would fuck a serial killer bitch and not think twice about it. Any dude would. But the difference is we don’t STAND BY these nut cases. There’s not a chance in hell I would have a kid with them and if she gets locked up I’m OUT. Women might think this is because you are more loyal, but it’s not. Y’all clearly have some fucking issues.
So basically, ladies, you all need to band together or some shit and decide you are going to stop falling for certified psychos. There’s no way dudes like him will ever learn until they stop getting chicks. It’s the only way men ever learn.
Ladies, fuck with the #Fiends of the world, not the George Zimmermans.
PS – One really important thing I forgot, is the male side of this too. If you are a dude that can’t get a girl, you need to smack yourself and then take a long look in the mirror. If the worst humans on this planet like George Zimmerman can get MULTIPLE chicks to have their baby, then clearly the problem is YOU.
MORE DATES #FIENDS! Anyone else out there wish this shit went year round?
Obviously I don’t even have to tell you how much of a dream come true seeing Bas at MSG Theatre is going to be. That’s really going to be a special moment for us.
But my inner #fiend can’t help but get excite for Feb. 1 at Foxwoods. Low key, that might be a must see date. Foxwoods Casino is one of the most underrated Casinos in North America. This is gonna be like Vegas all over again.
GET YOUR TICKETS ASAP.
This isn’t really from the Ad Council. Some Christian extremist group made this and it went viral with mook heads.
Being that I’m both a mook head and Christian, I feel like I would be best to comment on this.
Why are Christian extremist scare tactics so lame and outdated? I don’t get it. Look at any other extremist group and tell me that their scare tactics aren’t 100% more frighting. You never see these Christian groups like strapping bombs to themselves or hijacking shit, all they do is tell you that you’ll turn gay.
I’m not condoning the use of violence for political or religious gain, that’s equally retarded. I just find it odd that all the other extremist groups stepped it up to level 10 and Christians are just going all out with this “you will turn gay” campaign. Like that shit can’t really be working for them. It’s mind boggling. I’m kind of offended that they think we are this fucking stupid.
I think I speak for all Christian Mook heads when I say: FUCK YOU RANDOM CHRISTIAN GROUP. Why the fuck are you throwing mook heads under the bus? What the hell problems have we caused? All we do is mook and have fun. Do you know how many wars have been started by mook heads? ZERO. We are wayyyy too mooked to start a war. We can barely get up to take out Fifa and put in NBA 2K. There was a point in time when the Super Mookin’ Fiends were so lazy, we weren’t even passing the blunt anymore. We were just straight throwing it across the room to each other. So #Fiended.
Lastly, not that I’m going to even entertain the absurd notion that gay is a choice and that you can “turn gay”, but I just thought about it…I actually didn’t start fucking chicks until after I started mookin’. Granted I tried that shit at a very young age, but I was a virgin the first time I mooked, then shortly after I started getting chicks.
I don’t want to come out and say mookin’ gets you laid because someday when I have kids they might find this shit online, but I mean that’s kinda what happened.
I promise these hats will be available sometime soon. We just have some special plans for this…
Tell me it’s not the hardest snapback out right now thou?
I AM WAY TOO MOOKED FOR THIS.
SERIOUSLY, I’M CRYING OUT THC TEARS RIGHT NOW. #FIEND
The NBA and Adidas unveiled Thursday the short sleeve jerseys that will be worn during this year’s Christmas Day quintuple-header. The solid-color jersey designs feature an over-sized team logo on the front; the player’s number has been moved from the chest to the left sleeve.
Christmas Day’s quintuple-header will go down as follows: Bulls at Nets (12 p.m. ET), Thunder at Knicks (2:30 p.m. ET), Heat at Lakers (5 p.m. ET), Rockets at Spurs (8 p.m. ET), and Clippers at Warriors (10:30 p.m. ET).
I’ve been staring at this shit for about 2 hours straight. I just can not figure out how I feel about these.
I’m all about fun shit like this and trying out new ideas. For instance, those tank top style jerseys the NCAA unveiled a couple of years ago, I was all about that. But I dunno, I think these sleeve joints are kinda CHEEKS.
I’m sure all these yoked up NBA players are going to look great in them (pause). But the rest of us are going to look like certified assholes. I’m already cringing at the thought of how many fuckboys are gonna try to hoop in this shit now. I mean can you see @Oakshades trading in his legendary Knicks Jersey for one of these shits at his next ecstasy rave?
Hell no. I’m not fucking with these. Try again.
Speaking of the Christmas games, that is one of my favorite days in sports. It literally saves me and my pops from the family hell. My only beef is that they need to EXPAND on this.
Please don’t steal this idea, because it’s going to make a millionaire. I should not be posting this on the #Fiend blog, but whatever here it is:
NBA Christmas tournament. Single game elimination style, like a NBA – March Madness. Championship game is played on Christmas day.
Tell me that wouldn’t murder?!?!?! Christmas tournaments are already a staple in the game for High School and College ball. This tournament would be the biggest thing in sports. Everyone loves single elimantion playoffs (March Madness, NFL) and everyone complains that the NBA lacks this feeling with an 82 game schedule and best of 4 playoffs. This would bring that to the NBA.
Imagine if the winner got something REALLY dope. Like an automatic playoff bid or something wild. You could start to add in music performances and make it a whole spectacle. It would start to push the NBA to the top. Possibilities are endless.
David Stern, come holler at me.
PS – I was kinda digging the NBA Christmas Spot for these new jerseys though…